Windsor Wedding Fever

Don't know if you heard, but there's a little wedding come up. Two people called Wills and Kate? The mind boggles.

So in celebration, I took myself to Windsor to see just what all the fuss was about.

Here is what I got up to:



For top ice cream visit Mauds and for a top lunch, head to the Two Brewers - located at the top of the Long Walk - adjacent to the castle gates.

Scared of the Sun with THESE Legs

When the sun came out last week everybody rejoiced, I swear I heard a little delight across the whole of the UK as people ditched the bus and decided to walk instead to work, and finally dug out those last year sandals which we didn't expect to have to use for another couple of months.

But somewhere inside, I felt a little dread and a lot of worry. I was certianly nowhere near summer ready. I was as white as a ghost, nails not quite the perfect colour and winter clothes still being worn. So, I figured, if I was ever going to brace the UK's pavements again, I had better get prepared and get myself ready.

TASK 1: TAN
I'm not much of a sunbed user, I've heard the horror stories and to be honest they have stuck. As for fake-tan I swear I am the only person in the world who it doesn't work on. Think ridiculously dark and streaky and you're thinking about me when I give it a go. So instead, I popped along to trusty Boots and gave this a whirl:

This is St. Tropez's gradual mousse tanner. It slides on like a little dream and a little goes a long way. It gives you that kind of summer-kissed look, not the I've-just-come-home-from-the-sun look which we all want to keep away from.

TASK 2: NAILS
I am a slight nail-obsesser, I'm talking, probably paint them about three times a week. My nail polish collection is utterly ridiculous and I probably haven't seen my bare nails in about 5 years. So when the sun put its hat on it was time for some summer colour baby! This is what I'm talking about:

Yes, I'm talking block orange and bring purple, from my best nail friend, Barry M.

TASK 3: SUMMER CLOTHING
My summer sandals from last year were looking well past their sell-by date and so I thought, there really is no better excuse, to visit the beloved Topshop.

LONG MAY THE SUN SHINE.

Mama's BBQ

If there's one thing my Mum does well, it's a BBQ. It is big, it is huge, it is yummy. We're not just talking sausages and burgers, on no my friend, the list is endless. Olives, 5 types of cheeses, a variety of sausages, marinated chickens, homemade italian bread, raspberry and stilton salads...the food just keeps coming and coming. So when the sun shone on the weekend, I knew for certain that dinner was going to be a big event - and I was right:

Are You Freakin' Kidding Me?

Just last week I popped along to the Docs in hope of a few answers. I was praying for an easy and quick response, you know the kind, 'eat more cake and the symptoms will just go.' No? Never heard that before? Our Doctors need retraining.

Anyway, I had a few things on my mind that I was certainly not hoping for, with one of them being, a wheat intolerance. 'Please God,' I thought, 'do not let them tell me I have to give up all things wheat.'

After a lot of deliberation on his and my part he came to a conclusion:

'I think you have an intolerance to chocolate.'

'Are you freakin' kidding me?'

'No.'

Oh-my-God. Does that even exist? I thought not, apparently it does. Whenever people tell me they are giving up chocolate for lent I give the usual response: 'why the hell would you do that? Freak.' Usually, they do not have a good enough answer that satisfies my questioning.

So I have now gone 12 days without chocolate. I have joined the weird-band of people who give up chocolate, although, mine is certainly not for fun. Yes, that's right, 12 days. For a person that usually would kill for something like this...

(Eaten 3 days before the bad news)

... it has proved, well, pretty difficult. Now I am not quite at the sweating and shaking stage, but when I bypassed a chocolate torte this afternoon, I was nearly at breaking point.

Wish me luck.

*Screams into pillow*